14-year-old ignores her 17-year-old sister after she starts calling her "her brother" because the younger sister likes to work on cars with her older sister's boyfriend: 'She started yelling and accusing me of trying to steal her boyfriend'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Apr 21, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

There is never a time when gender norms are more strictly enforced than during childhood. When you're an adult, you can present yourself any way you want, and most people won't question it to your face, but kids pick up on the slightest deviation from any norm. The reason they do that is because the adults in their life are judging people based on their gender expression, but they're just not doing it around the people they're questioning. Children will listen, and they will especially listen when they hear their mom saying, "Did you see that woman at the grocery store who didn't shave her armpits? Please promise me you'll never do that when you go to college." 

Sometimes kids scrutinize the interests of others based on whether they seem like a "boy thing" or a "girl thing," even far beyond typical playground jaunts that you'd think they'd grow out of by high school. 

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  • The sister in this story is acting extremely immature for a 17-year-old. Her 14-year-old has developed a friendship with her boyfriend over their shared interest in cars, and that is making her incredibly insecure in her relationship. Instead of dealing with that insecurity, she's resorted to name-calling her sister, who hasn't done anything wrong. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10496814592
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for ignoring my sister after she kept introducing me as her little brother?

    Hi Reddit, I (14F) have two sisters ―0 (17F) and J (11F). Growing up, O and J were closer to my mom, while I've always been closer with my dad. My dad's a mechanic, and because of that, I've developed a big passion for cars and all things mechanical (this becomes important later). O
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    has a boyfriend, M (17M), and they've been together for two years. Recently, I found out M and I have quite a bit in common- we're both introverted and love cars. He actually works as a mechanic, like my dad. On a recent trip, we bonded over cars we saw, and that connection continued afterward. For my
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    birthday, M gave me tickets to a vintage car show (which I went to with him and my best friend N, 15M), and it was honestly one of the best gifts I've ever gotten. A few days ago, M also helped N and me build a robot for a school project. The robot ended up
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    1333 EDUCRE ABDUCHOT LENKUNG
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    winning a prize, and my dad was so proud that he threw a little celebration party for us. O invited some of her friends, and that's when things got weird. O kept introducing me to her friends as her "little brother." Now, I do dress more androgynously and have a tomboyish style, so I guess people didn't question it too
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    much. But I asked her-multiple times—to stop calling me her brother because it made me uncomfortable. She just laughed it off every time. Eventually, I got tired of it and went inside to play video games. M and N joined me a bit later because they also didn't feel like being around a crowd anymore. After gaming for
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    a while, they left with the rest of the guests. Later that night, my mom and O confronted me about "disappearing" from the party. I explained that I didn't like being introduced as a boy and didn't. want to cause a scene, so I just removed myself. That's when O
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    exploded—she started yelling and accusing me of trying to steal her boyfriend. She even said that if I "act like a boy," I should be treated like one. My dad overheard the whole thing and jumped in to defend me, and it turned into a huge argument. He
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    and I ended up leaving for the weekend. When we came back, O still called me her brother. So I told her if she kept doing it, I'd ignore her and I've been doing exactly that for the last few days. Now she's mad, my mom says I'm being dramatic, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm overreacting. So... AITA for ignoring her?
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    Ebonyrosepatt From now on every time she introduces you as her little brother speak clearly and loudly like talking to a particularly stupid and also deaf child and say "sister, remember girls are sisters" then shake your head sadly and apologise to the person saying "sorry she's not very bright" I'm petty tho.
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    flippysquid Or say, "she doesn't understand that girls can like cars." The biggest problem is mom though. She shouldn't be allowing any of her children to bu y the others.
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    therealhairyyeti I'd do this but instead of saying she's not that bright I'd use " we hope she marries well"
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    CoinCideEquals Liking cars isn't a gender thing. She's being a brat and your mother is allowing her to. Screw that you deserve better. Misgendering someone out of malice is disgusting and immature behavior. NTA Op, keep ignoring her. You deserve a better sister.
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    moose8891 Exactly, my three year old daughter loves helping me when I'm fixing things around the house or doing maintenance on our cars. She will hold the light or ask to be more hands on by saying (loudly) "I got it". She'll get dirty as heck but then only wants to wear princess dresses at all times with her hair done by my wife lol. Assuming interests based on gender is stupid. Nta.
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    Aadarna Exactly!! Also nothing wrong with a woman knowing how to fix a car. God forbid your car breaks down somewhere with no service but it's an easy repair. You gonna walk however long for help? Nah, you can do it yourself because you learned how to do these things because being handsy with how to fix different things has no sense for genders. I can change my tires, do a rotation, change my battery, the easy stuff from adding coolant and wiper fluids and currently learning from my fiance how t
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    great-nanato5 So it's ok for her to insult you, but not ok for you to ignore it? I would introduce her as the sibling that was found under a rock. See how mad that makes her. (My oldest sister always used to say that about me soooo)
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    Realistic Treacle_28 NTA, like everyone is saying she's being petty and jealous of you. You can continue to ignore her, it'll drive her crazy cause she's not getting the reaction she wants from you. But if you want you can call her your big brother and say she has to shave her mustache on a daily basis. But I think ignoring her is better, she'll evantually snap and cause a bigger scene but don't be surprised if the b.f. breaks up with her and you somehow get slammed for it
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    Licho5 If OP can't keep ignoring her sister for any reason I suggest refering to her as "it".
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    Groovy YaYa Start calling your mama "Papa". Find a boy's equivalent name for your sister and start calling her that.
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    Global_Loss6139 Then tell her "it's not that big of a deal she's being overdramatic
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    StatisticianPlus 7834 NTA. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. Ignoring a buy is a best revenge. Good job!
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    Beth21286 If she's this immature she's going to get herself dumped pretty quick. M seems like a stand-up guy, not the type to deal with her nonsense.
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    FreakCell NTA I can see how the whole ticket gift and event together might morph into something bigger than it is in a teenager's mind, especially if she wasn't there. Your mom, though, I don't get her. Just tell your mom "if anyone is being dramatic it's the person that has been trying to press my buttons for days and then makes a scene when I ignore it".
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    If sis insists on introducing you as a boy, just introduce yourself calmly to the person "hi, I'm so-and-so, don't mind my sister, she's just insecure". If you do that every time, eventually she won't like her buttons being pressed and will either blow up or give up.
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boyfriend family drama race car teenager teenage brother car sisters teenagers siblings race cars cars reddit story family sibling sister Reddit
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